8:30am Mom wakes up peaceful, happy and smiling and turns over in bed to see her peaceful, happy, smiling and gurgling baby staring back at her.
8:32am Mom gets out diaper changing supplies and prepares to change first diaper of the morning.
8:33am Disaster. Utter disaster. Baby’s bottom explodes and poo trickles over the changing pad onto the bed. Mom freaks out, grabs extra wipes and tries to mop up the changing pad and the now soiled sheets. Meanwhile baby’s exposed penis feels the cool air and involuntarily decides to pee all over himself, his mom, his changing pad, and the sheets. Mom stops scrubbing the sheets with aloe scented wipes, assesses the damage (poo on baby’s clothes, poo on her clothes, poo on sheets, poo on dirty diaper, poo on spare diaper) and then Mom starts to cry a little. After having the shortest pity party in the history of the world (ten seconds tops), Mom plops son into his bath, corrals everything (EVERYTHING) into the washer, and then returns to the bathroom to hose down son, then pat him dry, and put a clean diaper and clean clothes on him.
8:45am Having created disaster of apocalyptic proportions before mommy has had her morning cup of coffee, baby falls back asleep.
10:00am Sheets are washed and clean baby has woken up from his nap. He is giggling, gurgling and mom is happy. Then she looks down and realizes she has dried poo on her foot.
(Photo: Norman Rockwell)