Last week, while emerging from our car, the Professor pulled a muscle in his right lower back. To be more accurate it was actually a muscle a little south of his back but the Professor has forbid me from discussing his rear end on my blog. The muscle spasm, which we found out it was called later, meant that he had to walk hunched over so that he was parallel to the floor and could not stand up straight without experiencing considerable pain.
We were actually in a bit of a pickle when this happened since as I’ve mentioned before, we don’t have health insurance. But we couldn’t not go to the doctor since the Professor was in such pain and I couldn’t watch him suffer and not do something. I called every urgent care center in Miami and most of them were not only closed already (it was a Sunday after five pm when he injured himself, inconveniently enough) but those urgent care centers that were open, charged over $150 JUST TO BE SEEN! I found this price especially ridiculous considering that he didn’t need any lab work, blood work, or even an exam really. He just needed a prescription for a muscle relaxant and ibuprofen.
In the end, after many phone calls and internet searches, I hit upon a more affordable option. Have you guys every heard of Walmart Medical Clinics? They are tiny walk-in clinics that are in a select few Walmarts (in South Florida there are only two) where they charge just $55 to be seen. Granted you have to wait a really long time (we waited around two hours) and the clinics aren’t equipped with any fancy medical equipment so if you’re really hurt, you need to just go to a hospital E.R. But for us, it was the perfect solution. The Professor got his prescription ($4 dollars!) and has been popping pills for a week now and I am happy to report that he is more perpendicular with the floor every day.
This experience has given me some idea of what the Professor and I will be like as old people. I imagine that our golden years will be spent with the Professor sporting a cane and Eau de Icy Hot and me yelling, “Don’t bend over like that! Do you want to hurt yourself again?!”
The moral of this story: Enjoy your life while your back is intact because doing the horizontal mambo when you’re old is actually a lot less fun than it sounds.